29 | Longing for Motherhood: Ruth’s Journey Through Infertility

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Ruth Clayton is an ordained Presbyterian pastor and a hospital chaplain. Her professional life is spent providing comfort, wisdom, and spiritual support to those experiencing the failure of their bodies, those who are dying.

For the past two years, Ruth and her husband, David, have been longing to become parents. In the midst of joyful anticipation, Ruth has had to confront the possible limits of her own body. After months of charting cycles and temperatures, Ruth and David entered the world of medical infertility intervention.

In our conversation, we discuss the ups and downs of the trying, hoping, waiting process. Ruth reflects on what is happening in her soul and her marriage as she looks toward the possibility of motherhood. She is also honest about the low points and how she copes with the monthly disappointments of negative pregnancy tests.

It is an open conversation about an experience that is deeply painful and increasingly common.

28 | Far From the Tree: An Interview with Andrew Solomon

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All summer I have been talking about the book Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity. It has been part of my conversations at picnics, over coffee, during meetings, in lectures, and in a few therapy sessions. I have yet to come across a book that so vividly portrays the experience of parenting as both heart-wrenching and heart-expanding.  It presents a narrative of immense love woven into a kaleidoscope of stories of all that can go wrong in family life.  It is thoughtful, nuanced, and honest.

I was honored by the opportunity to interview the author, Andrew Solomon.

A native New Yorker, Andrew studied at Yale and recently finished his PhD in psychology at Cambridge. Andrew is a writer and lecturer on politics, culture and psychology. His last book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (Scribner, 2001), won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in the London Times list of one hundred best books of the decade.

Andrew’s own story of fatherhood is a bit complex. He is the biological father of a daughter with a college friend who lives in Texas. Andrew’s husband, John, is the biological father of two children, Oliver and Lucy, who live in Minneapolis. Andrew is the biological father of three-year-old George, who lives with Andrew and John. The lesbian mother of Oliver and Lucy was the surrogate for George.

So the shorthand is: five parents of four children in three states and lots of frequent flyer miles.

Andrew lives with his husband and son in New York and London, and is a dual national.

27 | Weird in All the Normal Ways

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This week’s interview is with writer and photographer, Lisa Howard. Lisa is the mother of 12-year-old Chase and seven-year-old Jordan. It is quite possible that Lisa is one of the busiest gift-givers I know. She and her wife, Cayne, mark the beginning of their relationship 19 years ago, their decision to become domestic partners 12 years ago, their marriage in California five years ago, and the federal governments’s recognition of their marriage earlier this year.  So, that’s like five anniversaries.

Lisa talks about the joys and challenges of motherhood, the unique parts of becoming pregnant as a lesbian, and the ways in which her family is weird in all the normal ways.

I get interviewed

Most of the time I get to listen to interesting, wise folks speak insightfully about their family lives. I like that. I like to listen.

I few weeks ago, I was asked to do an interview about my family life. Role reversal- yikes!

I have been tempted to calmly pretend that there is no evidence of this conversation (suddenly feeling very shy). However, I realize that I can’t really go around asking other people to be vulnerable, if I’m not.

Bretch and Scott are a couple of dads who are in the process of building businesses. I hang out with folks like this because of my husband, Rob who is something of a start-up, entrepreneur guru. In this interview, Bretch, Scott and I talk about the ways that entrepreneurship and family intersect. We also talk a bit about homeschooling, my own career choices and I make reference so my love of shoes. It was fun to be part of this conversation. Thanks, Bretch and Scott!

http://www.bootstrappedwithkids.com/episode-15-interview-with-sherry-walling/

Episode 26 | Nurturing Music

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K.C. Simba-Torres is a professional musician and a Suzuki teacher. She is also a Suzuki parent. She and her husband, Juan, have two children ages 10 and 6. In our conversation, we talk about the value of learning music early and the role that music plays in helping kids develop character. K.C. also talks about her hopes for her tremendously talented children and she reflects  more personally on the ways that parenting has changed her.

K.C. runs a private music studio and plays violin professionally. To learn more about her work, visit her website: simbaschoolofmusic.com

The music featured in this episode is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Variation 1 by Dr. Shinich Suzuki. The second piece is Flight of the Bumblebee composed by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov and performed by the Columbia Symphony Orchestra.